Exhausting Time Change

It's for the better of the world. I know that. We all know that. The seasons change and it's just reasonable for the time to also change. I don't like it. I've survived 3 years of time changes without any problem. Actually, i've SAILED through the time change while my close friends have suffered with their kids. My boys always seemed to have so alien intuition that the clocks were about to change and they'd fix themselves. Not this year!!! Our clocks went back an hour Sunday at midnight. It was awful. Today is Monday & I feel like a monster for shouting at the boys & not having the patience they need. I've slept about 6 hours total since we fixed our watches (this includes siesta!).

It's in my most frustrating times that it's hardest to self-analyze myself and see life from God's point of view. I don't want to see God's point of view because that means that i'd have to simmer a bit & change my attitude. I'm still not sure if i'm ready to take it easy. I want God and everyone around me to know how tired I am. But in the end, i'll just end up praying and asking God for forgiveness for my impatience and cold-heartedness. I'll go to my boys & ask them to forgive me and probably walk into their room in the middle of the night just to enjoy their beautiful sleeping faces. I wonder if i ever give God grey hairs. I wonder if there are times when i'm crying all the time, not knowing what i really want, and He just wants to drag me to my room and slam the door in my face bc he's just tired of the whining. I've done that a couple of times today.... but that's the difference between him and me. He's all-patient and all-loving. He infinitely understands what's going on inside my head and my heart & lets me get it out. He makes it to the end of the day with joy left in his heart - i feel squeezed dry.

Dear Jesus, please forgive me for losing my patience with my children. Please help my boys to grow up understanding that I love them more than life itself, but that sometimes mommy just isn't always fun to be around. I don't want them to ever doubt love. Please help me to remember your example & your forgiveness. AMEN!