Remember Yourself!

It's the end of the day and the kids are finally in bed. I'm sitting down on the sofa, surfing the web, blogging, skyping with my sister & watching Anthony Bourdain on TV. Amazing how one sits down to relax and do "nothing" and in reality "nothing" is just another version of our daily routine multitasking. It just feels more relaxing bc i don't have any whining or crying kids running around the house. I love my kids & actually enjoy the hectic craziness of each day. 

But the ends of my days are so sweet. It's a time that i use to rediscover who I am. You remember who that is? It's somewhere buried under all the milky, sticky, teary grime of motherhood. It's the me who enjoys writing, connecting with friends on the internet, watching a good episode of Criminal Minds or House, a cup of coffee with my husband... oh... the list is endless. 

I have a friend who has two little kids. She blogged this week about the need we have as mothers to take some time out for ourselves to take care of our own interests. It was really refreshing to hear this experience from another hectic mother. 

Just a quick question for my numerous audience (HAHA!)... how many of you mothers have a college degree? Are you a librarian? a nurse? a teacher? How many of you are currently using your degree? Not so many, huh? What's my point? My point is that there once was a time (before the kids made their grand entrance) when we thought more selfishly. There once was a time when we chose to go to school for 4 years to study something that interested us. It's infinitely important to never let go of that person we used to be. We are allowed to mature and change... that's life... but don't forget you are someone unique with special traits that make you one of a kind. 

My advice? RECONNECT! The kids will eventually go down for the night, for a nap, whatever... That time is yours. Read a book, work in the garden, take a shower, take a nap... It's important to nurture yourself because at the end of the day, you're not just a mommy and a wife... you're YOU. Being a mom is a huge job! So take care of the woman that's doing all that work. Remember yourself!

Exhausting Time Change

It's for the better of the world. I know that. We all know that. The seasons change and it's just reasonable for the time to also change. I don't like it. I've survived 3 years of time changes without any problem. Actually, i've SAILED through the time change while my close friends have suffered with their kids. My boys always seemed to have so alien intuition that the clocks were about to change and they'd fix themselves. Not this year!!! Our clocks went back an hour Sunday at midnight. It was awful. Today is Monday & I feel like a monster for shouting at the boys & not having the patience they need. I've slept about 6 hours total since we fixed our watches (this includes siesta!).

It's in my most frustrating times that it's hardest to self-analyze myself and see life from God's point of view. I don't want to see God's point of view because that means that i'd have to simmer a bit & change my attitude. I'm still not sure if i'm ready to take it easy. I want God and everyone around me to know how tired I am. But in the end, i'll just end up praying and asking God for forgiveness for my impatience and cold-heartedness. I'll go to my boys & ask them to forgive me and probably walk into their room in the middle of the night just to enjoy their beautiful sleeping faces. I wonder if i ever give God grey hairs. I wonder if there are times when i'm crying all the time, not knowing what i really want, and He just wants to drag me to my room and slam the door in my face bc he's just tired of the whining. I've done that a couple of times today.... but that's the difference between him and me. He's all-patient and all-loving. He infinitely understands what's going on inside my head and my heart & lets me get it out. He makes it to the end of the day with joy left in his heart - i feel squeezed dry.

Dear Jesus, please forgive me for losing my patience with my children. Please help my boys to grow up understanding that I love them more than life itself, but that sometimes mommy just isn't always fun to be around. I don't want them to ever doubt love. Please help me to remember your example & your forgiveness. AMEN!