Last week my father in law's brother had a birthday. He celebrated 80 years. In honor of his birthday we decided to call and congratulate him.
I listened nearby as my father in law conversed with brother. When the phone conversation was done, I asked my father in law how it went. To which a silly grin appeared as he remembered the conversation he had with his brother.
My father in law answered, "Peter says everything is just fine. He has energy, nothing hurts, nothing bothers him. He has plenty of energy."
I replied, "Wow! that's amazing! what a blessing to reach 80 years and to be able to say that you have so much energy and health and vitality!"
My father in law just chuckled at my words. I look at him with curiosity.
He says, "well I told him that if all that was true that he needs to immediately go talk to his doctor because there is definitely something wrong with him. No one should reach that age in absolutely perfect condition."
I appropriately laughed alongside my father in law but somewhere deep inside I realized its deeper truth. My father in law is 66 years old. He is not VERY old, but his joints hurt, his back hurts, it is hard for him to stand up from the sofa without help. He's always been a person who has worked very hard his entire life. Now he takes medicine because of the pains. I've given more than my fair share of foot rubs at the end of a very long day.
A HUGE part of my heart is very sad as I realize that my father in law, who has been a part of my life for the past 12 years, and whom i have always imagined as being someone strong and eternal, is old. This is a harsh reality for me because, all of a sudden, life is real - it has a beginning and an end.
Time stands still as I take in the depth of the moment. I look at my father in law, a respectable man indeed...
I've never had the opportunity to lose someone in my life. I'm almost 30 years old and everyone I've ever known intimately still lives. Everyone I want to have near me is close by, either graphically or through the Internet.
Lord willing my father in law has many more years left to live. But for the first time in my life I see him with other eyes. I see an aging man who needs to be respected and given the dignity he deserves as he begins this last part of his life. This won't be easy for him and at the same time it won't be easy for me either - much less his children! I see him struggle to stand up and I ache to stand up and help him. I see him try to pick something up off the ground and i want to rush to his side and pick it up for him.
I don't want him to pick up on my secret. I don't want him to realize that I know that he is getting old. I want him to think that he's still strong. I want him to think that he can still do it all by himself and, just like my childhood thought, I also foolishly want to believe that he is eternal. l pray from the deepest part of my heart that God will be gracious unto my father in law, blessing him with a smooth aging process and that his life will be filled with joy and peace.
And... and above all... he will remember how much we love him. And even though he's getting older and can do less he is still is the strongest person in the entire world to me.
