Piano Lessons

My 7 year old has ADHD. He was diagnosed last year in September, and since then our perspectives on "normalcy" have been rearranged. I'm sure that our experience is similar to those of so many others: the confusion, insecurity, frustration, long-suffering, hope, etc. It's a huge package that's filled with the pretty little bows and also the shady, uncertain pieces.

I don't consider myself a person who is musically inclined. My mother made me pick an instrument as a child and so I did - the piano. She said it was good for me. And so now that I have children, I tell them the same thing: "Pick an instrument." And they have - the piano.

Two years ago was the first time I tried lessons for the first time with my then 5 year old. He didn't even make it in the church building. I didn't make a big deal out of it and we walked back home. One year ago, my spirited boy sat down for exactly half a lesson before the teacher suggested that he was perhaps not "mature enough" yet. After striking out two times I didn't have the intention of striking out a third time and decided that his lessons would begin when he, himself, asked for them. So this year, he asked for them. I sighed in preemptive frustration.

"Mama, come with me," he begged.

I did.

His body was literally vibrating with excitement as he saw his teacher walk in the door. He barely said goodbye before remembering his fear. I took a seat on one of the pews, out of sight, and prayed.

Please, God, let this be the right moment for this. 

Let this also be something that's good for him 

and helps him grow!

I hear the teacher speaking softly to my son. Gently guiding him in his lesson. When he tries to act out and show off, she kindly reminds him what the task is. I can't believe her. I can't believe HIM! It isn't 10 minutes past the beginning of the lesson and he is already going up the scale for Do to Do doing the cross-over with his right hand. I can't help being emotional and can feel the tears stinging at the back of my eyes.

WOW!! My ADHD son is having a real lesson and is really learning and no one is pulling their hair out. Actually, all involved seem to be enjoying it all.

This is all still new to me and I am learning every day new ways to cope and support the challenges my son faces. One thing I have learned, and I hope is of encouragement to other mothers who have similar situations, is that you have to take hope and strength in the small triumphs. You love your child as well as you can… and wrap yourself in the successes and breakthroughs you get. I felt covered in joy through this first piano lesson.

LET YOUR LIGHT SHINE!

My husband and I have been married for 8 years. Before we married, we dated for 3 years. It's been 11 years with the best man in the world (not biased, I promise!). But it wasn't a relationship that was expected to be "easy". No relationship is easy, but the more differences you put on your plate, the more stumbling blocks could pass your way. That's why it's easier for two people who come from the same community and similar upbringing to fall in love, than two completely opposite ones. My husband and I are not polar opposites. In fact, i'd say that we are more alike than we thought at the beginning! But we are culturally and ethnically different.

My husband comes from a traditional, German-Mennonite background. It's not so conservative that the women cover their heads and make babies and bread... but traditional because the order of worship and church politics tend to be a bit more right-winged. He's tall, white, blonde w/ green eyes (disregard the picture above!) and speaks 3 languages. 

I on the other hand am the oldest daughter of a "mixed" couple. My mother is from the US and my father from Colombia (South America). My life began in a double-cradled-culture. And before I was 8 years old, my entire family moved to Peru (a 3rd culture!). Then later to Paraguay (a 4th culture!). My skin color can be described comically as "Cafe con Leche". My dad is the coffee and my mom is the milk. I am the warm brown in between. I have dark brown hair and dark brown eyes. I speak 2 languages. 

My point in this blog is not to set myself on the opposite side of a boxing ring as my husband - far from it! I want to share the amazing beauty of the attraction of opposites and the blessing it becomes to itself and to others in proximity.

Before tying the knot 8 years ago, a few concerned and outspoken people spoke to us on the complexity of merging two different cultures. "It's not going to be easy," they'd say. But we'd prayed about it and knew that God was leading us down the path of marriage and a future together. But all along I held the words of caution close to my heart. And (wisely) any moment I felt that our backgrounds were closing in on us, we'd stop and talk. Sometimes we wouldn't even notice the looming conflict and in the end we'd confusingly have to explain why we did/said what we did. But we'd always get it out and work through it. It never really seemed like a huge mountain to us... (at least not to me!). It's just the way things were... My parents were a priceless example to me before i even met my husband of how a couple worked differences out. thank you Jesus for them! 

This is my life... I live it every day. Jesus says to 'let your light shine before the world.' I'm positive i wasn't doing that in my marriage life. I'm not hiding anything at all! I'm reading my Bible, praying for wisdom and love, taking the time to love my husband and live righteously. But not really paying attention to others watching me as I live my life. 

This past weekend at the youth meeting that my husband was asked to speak at, a newly married couple (Interracial) approached us. They had been married for 4 months and they thanked us for our example. "If it wasn't for you, we wouldn't be married!" Oh wow! I had NO CLUE who they were! My husband had to play the Mennonite Game w/ the young man to figure out who he was :) I'm flabbergasted at how God can use our lives without us even participating in His plan. I was only taking care of myself! But God's so much bigger than our limited goals. He worked past me, to get to other people who needed the encouragement of my experiences to do what they felt God moving them to do. All I could say was 'Thank you, Jesus' and renew a personal commitment to keep my eyes open to those who may been watching me... I want to shine my light bc God gave it to me and lit up my life. 

Cindy 

Whats a girlfriend?

Watching the geeks comedy while the kids build w their legos. Sheldons got a girlfriend. The whole crew is talking about it...

Gabo: Mama, whats a girlfriend?
Me: Its a special friend whos a girl that you love very much.
Gabo: (*whispers*) Mama, you are my girlfriend

(*...blissss....*)

Exhausting Time Change

It's for the better of the world. I know that. We all know that. The seasons change and it's just reasonable for the time to also change. I don't like it. I've survived 3 years of time changes without any problem. Actually, i've SAILED through the time change while my close friends have suffered with their kids. My boys always seemed to have so alien intuition that the clocks were about to change and they'd fix themselves. Not this year!!! Our clocks went back an hour Sunday at midnight. It was awful. Today is Monday & I feel like a monster for shouting at the boys & not having the patience they need. I've slept about 6 hours total since we fixed our watches (this includes siesta!).

It's in my most frustrating times that it's hardest to self-analyze myself and see life from God's point of view. I don't want to see God's point of view because that means that i'd have to simmer a bit & change my attitude. I'm still not sure if i'm ready to take it easy. I want God and everyone around me to know how tired I am. But in the end, i'll just end up praying and asking God for forgiveness for my impatience and cold-heartedness. I'll go to my boys & ask them to forgive me and probably walk into their room in the middle of the night just to enjoy their beautiful sleeping faces. I wonder if i ever give God grey hairs. I wonder if there are times when i'm crying all the time, not knowing what i really want, and He just wants to drag me to my room and slam the door in my face bc he's just tired of the whining. I've done that a couple of times today.... but that's the difference between him and me. He's all-patient and all-loving. He infinitely understands what's going on inside my head and my heart & lets me get it out. He makes it to the end of the day with joy left in his heart - i feel squeezed dry.

Dear Jesus, please forgive me for losing my patience with my children. Please help my boys to grow up understanding that I love them more than life itself, but that sometimes mommy just isn't always fun to be around. I don't want them to ever doubt love. Please help me to remember your example & your forgiveness. AMEN!