The Power of Prayer

Christian living isn't terribly hard for me. I'd haughtily say that i'm essentially a "good person." Before you go all nuts on me and label me a heretic... let me finish my thought.

Jesus makes sense to me. He's so unquestionably the answer to the world that i never questioned the "rightness" of His role in my life. I took it and held tight. But every once in a while a topic of Christian Living comes up and I'm forced to think about my position on it. Not because I doubt them, but bc they are such deep subjects that one really needs to put more than just blind faith into it. Prayer is one of those topics for me.

I obediently include prayer in my life. Jesus says that "in everything give thanks." Therefore, I try to never forget that - when i wake up in the mornings, at the table for meals, when a speeding car barely misses me, before sleep at night, etc. But those are the easy things to pray about.

The "Hard" prayer has to do with transforming acts - when we ask God to change something. For some that could be "Please, soften my husbands heart so he will come to church w/ me" or "Please help my child to sit still in school." or... the one I have recently struggled with... "Please heal this sick baby."

Why is it so easy to pray, yet so hard to believe that God listens. I know that God hears all my prayers, but at the same time i'm not always convinced that he truly listens to them... or does He? Here's my story:

Rachel's 6month old baby girl had an infection in her intestines 3 weeks ago. She took her to the doctor and had antibiotics prescribed and was well on her way to recover. But before the baby was 100%, she was bitten by a dengue-mosquito last week. The baby got terribly sick and was placed in the pediatric ICU Sunday. Baby's platelet count was dirt low, she hemorraged from mouth, nose and butt, was put on a respirator, incubated and (to boot) got pneumonia. The baby was bad. I had a chat w/ a social worker friend of mine who works at the hospital and she told me that the baby would likely not survive the night (this is Monday evening already). I couldn't understand how such a sweet girl (Rachel) could have had such bad luck as to have her first (and only-born) child so unfairly torn from her life. She and her husband had tried so hard to get pregnant and now that they had their miracle baby... there were so many thoughts going through my mind. I prayed and shared this prayer request via email w/ my Prayer Warrior friends and posted it on FB for others to pray. But i knew the condition that the child was in. I'm a nurse & i understood the reality more than most others could. There comes a point in medical treatment when you can truly do no more. There is a momentum that comes with a grave condition that  nosedives towards death. It spirals downward and there is truly no stopping it - medically speaking. The ICU pediatrician told me that at this point only God could save the baby.

All my great thinking happens when i'm running. Tuesday I fought these thoughts and imagined the baby's torn body fighting infection. I imagined her weak little lungs struggling for each breath. And that each of these breaths would take living energy to each cell of her body, strengthening it and giving it the energy necessary to fight the virus in her body. Every breath that i took as i ran I "sent" it to the baby. "God, take a bit of my living breath and put it in that little body." Followed by... "God, I know that you do miracles... but will you?" There are so many complications! and my weak faith had no faith at all. You see, i never really was convicted of his grace and mercy. I simply prepared myself to accompany my friend Rachel with prayer and counseling once the bad news came. All along I was praying for healing, but not truly believing that it would happen. God sure did "chop me down..." God DOES listen to prayer. And when it is in His perfect plan, he listens to the prayers of many and acts on those petitions. Why is it to hard to believe that He can change reality?

Perhaps it has to do with the bad in this world. I think that we are so used to the bad news or the "reality" of the harshness of life that we forget that there is Someone who's not about "reality." He is about Grace and Mercy. He is a God who's love transforms and changes things. It doesn't matter if you are in the worst place in life... He is there and He will work - if you let him. I think that God could have still answered my prayer of healing for this child even if she had died... bc God works in the midst of the positives and the negatives. But i'm glad that (this time) the outcome was positive. I'm glad that he allowed me to see a miracle in real life and and that he gave me the desire to pray about it. I am blessed through the outcome.

oh... i guess i didn't really mention it specifically... yesterday the baby's oxygen was turned down a bit so she now breathes a little on her own and not just w/ mechanical help. And she started to drink milk. She's still in ICU but the miracle has already occurred!

A blessed weekend to you all

C