Self-Discipline: Part II

There are several areas of my life that I am trying to discipline - to transform. The first I shared with you last week. This week I am sharing with you about a long 20 year habit that has controlled my life. I say that it's controlled my life because I have tried so many times over the years to get rid of this habit, only to find myself doing it all over again. I'd have withdrawal symptoms, per say.

Habits are addicting. It's hard to live without them. There are habits that are harmful to yourself and to those around you (like smoking, drinking, speeding) and other habits that are really only harmful to yourself (like nailbiting, fingerbiting, overeating). My 20 year old habit is/WAS fingerbiting.

I sincerely can't remember the specific moment I decided to bring my fingers to my mouth and bite off that first cuticle, I am pretty sure that the fingerbiting started when we moved to Paraguay in 1994. Psychologists suggest that there are stressors in a person's life which pushes them towards some sort of outlet of their frustrations or stress. This "outlet" manifests itself in the form of a habit. In therapy it's helpful to figure out what the stressor was and work it out to resolve it. Unfortunately, because i let the habit continue for so long, i really don't remember why i started biting my fingers. So i have taken a guess at it being confusion from the move, perhaps trying to make new friends and the pressure to fit in to a new peer group. But i'm really not sure. I remember dad asking me why i did it. I never had an answer.

Other attempts at trying to stop haven't even been successful for a day. Probably never even more than half a day! I have failed so many times that i have no desire to quit - bc i know it wont work.

The change came unexpectedly. I believe that the discipline i have been practicing in starting live a healthy lifestyle has helped to practice self-control.

My husband asked me to tell him something that i would like to have. Anything. The deal? No fingerbiting for 30 days. If at any time I even took a tiny nibble i'd be back to Day One.

Today is Day#11!! I have NO.CLUE. why this time it's all working. i have to believe that the discipline in my health has contributed to my practicing self-control with the biting. Or maybe its a combo with prayer and the well-wishes of close friends. I don't know! But i DO know that today is Day#11 and (for the first time in 20 years) I have cuticles! HAHA! they are less inflamed, they don't hurt and they are starting to look like average fingers.

I consider this my greatest triumph after marrying my husband and bringing my 3 children into this world.

Here's to 19 more days of success! Almost half way!