Scrooge Loses!

I tried really hard to keep Christmas out of my home this year.

"WHAT?"

Yup... that's what i said and that's what i meant. I wanted to keep the commercialism and obsession out. Did you read my post on the origin of this idea? Well, i tried really hard. I didn't put up a tree, no garland, no twinkle lights, no scented candles or advent calendar. We didn't bring up the "C" word in conversation with the kids.

I DID bring out the Advent Wreath and my small nativity scenes and we did let the kids know that Jesus' birthday was coming up. Upon conversing with my husband, we'd decided that we would get the kids a big and practical gift and nothing more. We settled on a parachute material hammock for each of the boys and a swimming pool for all 3. Very practical. As an extra plus, my FIL even built a tree house (also very practical).

"Pride Comes Before the Fall"
I was so proud of myself and of my children. Everywhere i looked there were beautiful homes and stressed out mothers working hard at decorating their homes, baking cookies, christmas present shopping for eeeeeveryone of their relatives, spring cleaning for the company, etc, etc, etc. The children i'd run into could only talk about Christmas and the gifts that they were going to get (not hoping to get.... they KNEW!). My proud heart was so self-satisfied. I looked at my kids innocently playing with their "old" toys. They had no clue about the great gift potential just around the corner. I was proud of their selflessness and calmness.

December 24th rolls around and the two little ones get sick. They are coughing pretty bad so i take them to the hospital for a check-up. I don't want to drag them to the hospital on the 25th and ruin the poor doctor's family Christmas celebrations. Pediatrician gives them medicine and recommends 5 days of no swimming to avoid chilling. :( I could see the boxed swimming pool flying out the window (*sigh*). So now I have two sick kids who can't use the pool and one who won't have a gift at all (the little girl's only practical gift was the pool). I was faced with a sticky situation of my own concoction... only 2 gifts and 3 kids...

December 25th and my Christmas plan works. NO ONE asks for presents until 10am. They'd been awake since 6am... but bc they never knew it was Christmas Day and that they could/maybe be getting gifts, no one asked... At 10 we give the boys their hammocks. The boys are really excited and immediately start to play with them. And then my beautiful plan takes a nosedive...

"The hammock is not a blanket... if you schlepp it around the house it can tear and then it'll break"

"The only place you can hang the hammock is in the quincho... on the hooks. If not they can tear and break"

...and then... there are the frustrated cries because they can't get the hammocks back into their practical little bags they came in.

...and then... the 2 year old wants to play with the boys too... but she's not allowed to bc they don't belong to her.

I look at my husband and he looks at me... we remember some toys we'd stashed away for when they were older... He goes to get the micro playmobiles from storage (really... who gives a 2&3 year old MICRO playmobiles???) and i get the princess barbie set from the garage. Problem Solved.

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My intention was NOT to deprive my children of Christmas. I sincerely wanted to emphasize the birth of Jesus, forgiveness, family, simpleness, restraint... But in the attempt to go all black and white... i forgot about the color of life! As i was washing up the dishes this afternoon I could feel God's spirit guiding my thoughts. It was a solemn and intimate moment for me.

God: "Why did you do this?"
Me: "I wanted it to be all about you and not about the presents"
God: "And? was it?"
Me: "Sorta. But it doesn't feel like it turned out the way I expected it to. If feels like it didn't work."
God: "Ah...really? Why do you think so?"
Me: (I frown inwardly and let out a heavy sigh) Because you are so much more generous than what I did"
God: "and...?"
Me: "And you desire to make us happy. Just the way I wanted to make my kids happy"
God: "Grace. It's about Grace."
Me: "Grace? What does grace have to do with it all? Grace is about receiving something when you don't..." (I stop in my tracks)
God: "yup... when you don't deserve it. Cindy, I don't HAVE to do all the things that I do in life. I don't HAVE to put up a great sunset or sunrise... I don't HAVE to make flowers or rain smell good... I don't HAVE to give you taste buds to enjoy your meals... I do it because I want you to enjoy them."
Me: "Oh boy... i get it. I tried so hard to give my kids and my family - and myself - what i thought was the bare basics... only the MOST IMPORTANT! and in the process i forgot about the abundance that you are truly about.

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It all made sense in the end.

I confess i went a little overboard with my anti-Christmasness. I'm a bit ashamed of myself. But i'm still grateful for the experience. I'm glad that God guided me through the entire process and brought me to the end and to the marvelous encounter with His grace.

And you know what? I didn't feel guilty at all with my kids when we gave them the playmobiles and the barbie dolls. In fact, I felt overjoyed at being able to give them something they loved! And it wasn't even practical!!

But i guess sunsets and tastebuds aren't either...